A Review of The Notebook, a decade late and a dollar short

Noah & Lon, let's talk about it.

In 2004 something momentous happened. And I’m not talking about Janet Jackson’s wardrobe malfunction at the Super Bowl, albeit quite memorable. This was also the year that romance movies changed forever, The Notebook was released. What is the statute of limitations for doing a movie review? I’m sure it’s longer than 14 years, right? I was 16 in 2004 which is an absolutely terrible age to meet Noah. Actually, it was probably pretty great for my parents. No boy in Pelzer, SC quite measured up to Noah Calhoun. I couldn’t understand why none of these boys were madly infatuated with me, going out of their way to impress me with cute gestures every 5 minutes, writing me love notes every day or finding my temper tantrums adorable? Also, why didn't any of them look like Ryan Gosling? This is a tumultuous time in adolescence and I was so confused.

Anywho, when I was a freshman in college, I met my Noah. He was not a poor little bumpkin from the wrong side of the tracks. Oh no. Although he did have very shaggy hair. Like Noah and Allie, he was my opposite. I was raised very conservative, he was about as left as they come. I wore pastels with pearls and he was a tie-dye wearing hippie. I was very studious and always put my school work first, he took a semester off to give himself a break and had a real good time, all the time. Our difference were countless. Just like Allie and Noah, we were crazy about each other. Drawn to each other. The first time we met, it was like a magnetic force field. One of mass destruction.

I spent six years trying to tame Noah. We had similar morals, but very different values. He was a half-broke horse, and there was nothing I could do about that. He tried though. He tried to be what I wanted him to be. That was the saddest the part because more he fit the mold of who I wanted him to be, the less HIM he was and vice versa. I would loosen up a bit and he would retract. You’d think that we would get the picture that this wasn’t going to work after the first few months. But, we didn't. Our passion was strong. Our infatuation was stronger. We were so enamored by how incredibly different we were.

For years, we would break each other’s hearts over and over and over and over. Neither of us accepting that it would ever really be over. I would date other people, he would date other people and we’d end up right back in the same spot. Eventually, I grew so tired of his party boy ways. We were college graduates. It was time to be serious. We couldn’t play games forever. I remember being at his house one Sunday afternoon, and I finally told him to let me know when he was ‘ready to be serious’ that I couldn’t keep doing this to myself. This time I meant it.
This is the part of the story where several things could happen, We could continue playing games like we’d been doing for 5 years. We could truly part ways and finally let each other go. But, neither of those things occurred. It was that unlikely third scenario, the part that sounds like a movie. I swear it felt like one in real life too. It was everything the Notebook made it out to be. About a year later (not quite 7 years like the real movie), there was a knock at my door. I lived in an apartment in Charleston by myself with a dog and a job and a pool. I was doing ok. I opened the door to find Noah standing there. The first words out of his mouth were “I’m ready. For real.”

Don’t roll your eyes. He had NEVER said anything remotely like this before. Noah was one thing, and that’s honest. Boy wasn’t going to pretend that he was the straight and narrow if he wasn’t. He let me know where I stood every time.

“I’m ready. For real.” These are the words I dreamed of hearing for months, maybe even years. He was finally ready. It was the climax of the movie. This is how I always pictured it. He came in, bared his soul, told me how he had come to this place, how sure he was that this is what he wanted, how sorry he was for the past five years. Let me be clear and say, I owed him quite an apology too. We talked for what seemed like forever. I knew this day would come. We’d start dating. Get engaged. Get married. Finally.

He left for work a few hours later, and soon after he walked out, it hit me. I’m not that girl anymore. I’m not the girl who chased him. I’m not the pearl-wearing, conservative, goody-two shoes I once was. I was different. I had traveled to China, to India, saw Barack speak at the CofC campus, had different friends and interests. I grew up. It suddenly occurred to me that we both probably had. He didn’t even know me and worse, I didn’t even know him anymore. Sure we had kept in touch and hung out and had brief dating stints, but we hadn’t really known each other in a long time. When he said “I’m ready. For real.” He wasn’t ready for me. He was ready for what I wanted, a serious relationship. He was ready to find a real, lasting love. Too much time had passed for that to be me...

I knew in my soul that Noah wasn’t right for me. Just like 17 year old Allie and 24 year old Allie, so much had changed. We were strangers united by a past. Unlike Allie, I was not engaged, but I was moving back home. Telling him that I didn’t think we were right for each other anymore was one of the hardest conversations I’ve ever had in my life. To tell him “I’m not so sure about this” when he said “I’m ready. For real.” What a heartbreak. Truly. I still remember how soul crushing that moment was.

Six months later, I met Lon. At a bar. Completely coincidentally. Lon is overlooked in the Notebook. I mean, his character is a supporting role. But, hello, Lon was James Marsden. Dear Lord in Heaven, James Marsden is right up there with Joshua Jackson, and all the girls love Pacey, amirite? Ok, I’m getting off-track.

Real life Lon was just as charming as movie-screen Lon. He was handsome. From a good family. Had a good job. Owned a house. We had all of the morals AND all of the same values. He was never naively infatuated with me or passionately obsessed with me. He definitely didn’t think my tantrums were cute. But, he was the real deal. When I met him, I knew. Almost immediately, in a super weird way. So weird that I moved in like 1 month later and never left. Boy, that was a real gamble. I found my best friend. I found my perfect match. I found safety. I found security. I found stability. I found certainty. I found every single thing I had been searching for my whole entire life. He was wearing camo in his profile picture on Facebook, but I could see past it into the Jos. A. Bank wearing hipster he is now.

People overlook how incredibly supportive and understanding Lon is in this movie. He was literally everything you could ever want in a partner. Unlike Allie, I married Lon. And marrying Lon was the best decision I have ever made. Lon never had to give me the whole Noah speech, “So it's not gonna be easy. It's going to be really hard; we're gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, everyday. You and me... everyday.” We never needed that speech.

You know why? Because it wasn’t “really hard.” We didn’t have to “work at this everyday.” Lon and Me just show up every day. We are kind to each other. We love each other. We support each other. We like each other just the way we are. We are patient (most of the time) with each other. We have flaws, but not deal breakers.  I think marrying Lon made all the difference. I was able to marry my best friend, not someone I have to fight with every day. I married someone who was motivated and a hard worker, so we didn’t have to struggle to make our ends meet. I married someone who wanted the same things I did, and it was easy to build a life with common goals.

All this Noah talk may have you feeling a bit sorry for Lon, but please don’t. Lon has had his fair share of Allies before I came along. One in particular Allie is worth noting. We’ll call her Skate for privacy (I just added an S). Skate is Lon’s high school girlfriend. I’ve heard a lot of stories about her over the years. You guys, I love Skate. She was sweet and caring and beautiful. She was a good person and EXACTLY who he needed at that time in his life. Without her, I’m not positive that ole Lon would’ve graduated high school or college. He’d probably also have at least one arrest. PTL for Skate. Lon used to have this memory box out in the garage, and we went through it together when we were cleaning out. Inside was this photo frame that she made for him with a beautiful letter she’d written. I wouldn't let him throw it away. But that sketch of him and his college girlfriend kissing made it's way into the gar-bage. Back to Skate, she loved him so much. If I ever had a chance to meet her, I would tell her thank you. Thank you for taking such good care of him until I was old enough that our relationship could no longer be considered statutory and he ended up in prison.

For me, marrying Noah would have been crazy. We had a foundation of infatuation and passion. These things are great, but this is your life you’re talking about here. In my very humble opinion, love should not be hard. You shouldn’t have to fight for it. Sure, love, is absolutely something you work at every single day. I truly believe that each day you have to make a conscious decision to love each other,

Love is a verb and a noun. Love is something that you DO, not just something that you feel. My whole point in writing this is for your to think to yourself- if you wake up every single day and have to ‘fight’ for love, if you have to compromise who you are, or BE someone you’re not, then that may not be the very best love that’s out there for you. I’m not downplaying your feelings or your connection or whatever you call it. I’m simply saying, life is hard. Life is too hard for love to also be hard. Love (as a noun, now) is place where you can take comfort and feel supported and find solace when life is hard. Love is a place of rest. Do yourself a favor, make sure that someone loves you for you. Likes you for you. Accepts your flaws, and makes you better. If your love is full of insecurities and worries and uncertainties, then I would urge you to really have an honest conversation with yourself and with your partner.

I know that this is an unpopular opinion that no 30something wants to hear, but I can finally say 14 years later that Noah is overrated, man. I mean, look at him. Life could be worse, Al. #teamlon