Careers, Connections & Cupcakes

Reason #3 that your 30s are actually awesome:

The 3 C's of Adulthood

C #1: Career. First of all, in my 20s, I barely had even a working definition of what the term career actually meant. I was basking in my hourly job that paid my car payment and half of the rent because you know, roommates. It hadn't even occurred to me that my Psych degree wasn't going to land me my dream job. So cute.
Anywho, after realizing that near minimum wage was not going to get me any place I wanted to go in this life, I went graduate school. I became a professional. Luckily for me, I didn’t just find my career, I found my calling. I recognize that this is rare. Finding your calling is not a 30something thing, only few have such luck. I am doing what I was born to do, and I am good at it. I’m not tooting my own horn or anything. I can name about 1,000,000 jobs that I would be terrible at and one that I’m good at. It comes naturally to me. I’ve only been at it for 3 years, I’m not the best. I have room to grow, but I’ve managed to build a school counseling program from scratch, respect among my peers, presented at State Conferences, and received a national recognition. But most importantly, I’ve earned the love and trust of my students. I’m not a newbie anymore just trying to figure it out. I’m a developing professional. Take that to the bank, but not mine because I work in education and don’t really have any money.
Careers are a 30something thing. I believe that it’s ok if you have no idea what you’re doing, but if you know that what you’re doing isn’t the right thing for you - It isn’t what you were called to - It isn’t fulfilling - NOW is the time to jump ship and start again my friend. It is never, ever to late to have a new beginning, but don’t wait until you’re 40 and even more invested. I recently read a book that posed the question, “if you had an empty calendar and a full bank account, what would you be doing?” This is a great start to finding your true calling. Maybe you can’t do EXACTLY what you had in mind, but answering the question will point you in a general direction. Unless you are my husband who answered “I’d work at a golf course.” No, Aaron. Working at a golf course will NEVER be conducive to the life plan my friend.

C #2: Connections. You guys. I have connections. I mean, I know people. When I call them, they call me back. What? I never thought I would be that person. Connections are definitely for 30somethings and all trust fund kids. I distinctly remember being in my 20s thinking “how do these people know all of these other important people?” “How can I know important people?” Now, even I know important people. Don’t get me wrong, I’m nothing special. This is just the kind of thing that happens when you are in your 30s. You meet people, attend events, and get involved in similar community outlets that  important people are involved in. If you play your cards right, you acquire cool friends and neighbors who also have connections. Some are probably even trust fund kids.  

Example: I am working on a pretty huge project with a couple of co-workers right now. It is actually my life dream, my full bank account empty calendar dream. One of them asked me to reach out to a local church, a community organization, and a well-known non-profit in the area. I had the cell phone numbers of these people in my phone. We are on a first name basis. I called, they answered. That’s a big deal, y’all. This little girl from Pelzer has really made it in the world.

C #3: Cupcakes. This is your new mantra. Read it. Love it. Live it. Give yourself a morning pep talk in the mirror, whatever weird stuff you’re into. These are facts: Work is hard. Let me rephrase that, working with other adult people is hard. Who knew that even schools were filled with adults? Every day, my mission is the same. ‘Be the Cupcake in a room full of muffins’. It is an ongoing joke with my assistant principal and my work bestie. We are the cupcakes. Just a couple of muffins who believe in miracles. Like any job or really anything in life, you get back what you put in. You will reap what you sow. You’ll see what you want to see. Every job has Negative Nancys, Debbie Downers, and Annoying Annies (made that last one up). You cannot control negativity. You cannot control others’ attitudes or words or actions or behavior. But, you can BE THE CUPCAKE, dude.

On Being a Counselor

I often share funny stories about being a counselor. You’ve heard me say, “it is the greatest job on the planet” 100 times. And it is. Sometimes being a counselor is getting 30 kindergarten hugs all at once. Sometimes it is doing the Rollie with 4th grade boys. Sometimes it is grabbing that second grade sweetheart who is crying in the hallway and won’t speak to anyone, taking her to my office, giving her a hug and letting her eat her moonpie until she is ready to talk about it. Sometimes it is getting a surprise visit from a 5th grade tough guy who breaks down into tears when he sits down because he just realized he is going miss half of his friends when he goes to middle school. Sometimes it is writing a referral because a 2nd grader made the choice to tackle someone and try to choke them while on my watch. Sometimes it is having to explain what “bad words” are to kindergartners only to find out that they heard those words from another 5th grader in your school. It is easy for everyone to get mad at him. He misbehaves in class. Doesn’t do his work. Disrespectful to most adults. But, I know that kid has pain points too. His dad just left. He’s a riches to rags story. His mom can’t pay their bills. He is hurting. This is all in one day. Sometimes being a counselor requires having a heart big enough to love every single kid in every single situation all the time. It is hard, but it is the most worthy job I can imagine.