Bad and Bougie

According to Urban Dictionary, obviously the only dictionary that matters in 2019, Boujee is defined as High class, flossin’, ballin’. One who possesses swag. Elite. Rich.

Use it in a sentence, you ask. Ok: My is bitch is bad and boujee. 

A more appropriate definition comes from Dictionary.com: haughty, elitist, snobbish.

The origin is from 1965–70, Americanism; shortening and alteration of bourgeois.

Ok, enough with the definitions and origin of bougie or boujee, whichever you prefer. I have a friend in Atlanta who moved here around the same time I did. She once said over dinner, “Atlanta is sneaky boujee.” This sentence stuck with me because it.is.so.true. 

Atlanta is weird because it is super diverse. Like, some bougie, you totally expect. For example, the entire city of Buckhead. Bougie y’all. Real bougie. But, then there’s the other pockets that give the illusion of hipsterism or granolaism, do not be fooled. Still bougie. 

I remember the exact moment I realized Atlanta is bougie. It was the first week that I moved here. I was getting gas right off of Buford Highway. For those unfamiliar with Buford Highway, none of the store signs are in English. Buford Highway is a super multicultural area where all of the most amazing foreign foods can be found. You have to point at the picture on menu because none of them have English words or descriptions and the employees do not speak English anyway. It's also mostly project housing. So, anyway. I’m on Buford Highway. I stop at a gas station. I realize that each gas pump has its own television. Not a display screen for ads, an actual television playing King of Queens or some B-list comedy show. 

You mean to tell me, the people up in here can’t pump gas for 5 minutes without being entertained? They have to watch tv while filling up their Yukon? Ok. That’s bougie. Also, when your pump is finished, the tv teaches you a word of the day. I actually really appreciated that. It only gets more bougie from there.

I knew I lived in a bougie city. I accepted it. I actually started to really enjoy it. Rooftop bars with skyline views. I can get used to this.  What I did not realize was that Atlanta was so sneaky, it could turn me bougie without even realizing it. I’m not proud, but it has happened. 

Let me tell you the moment I realized that I was at the point of no return. I left school the other day. I needed to stop by and pick up some makeup. So, obviously, I go to Lenox Mall. Ulta and Sephora just will not do. So, I go to Lenox. Buy $182 worth of makeup. On my way out, I’m so tired from breathing today, I had to stop by Starbucks and get a coffee...duh. So, now I’m walking out of Lenox Mall, by the Tesla charging station, carrying my Tory Burch in one hand, Starbucks coffee in the other, and I’m on my way to my $175 per session self-pay therapy appointment because “you know, everyone has things they need to work on.” 

Hold up. Who dis? What the actual hell has happened to me? I’m not dropping $ amounts to show how fancy I am. I’m dropping $ amounts to show how bougie I’ve [accidentally] become. Because I’m still Jenny from the Block y’all. Mama ain’t got $182 for Makeup. Need to be heading to the Neutrogena counter at Walgreens. Therapy? Girl, go take a good nap, soak in a bubble bath, and suck it up. This is what Atlanta has done to me. I am a victim. 

Here are some other sneaky bougie things that I’ve noticed in the past month. 30 days. Not a cumulative list.

I’m sitting at a bar in Boston with my two girlfriends and I say “well, I’m no wine connoisseur, but I love petit verdot and I love cab franc. This wine is a 2011 blend of both, let’s get it. 2011 was a great year for grapes.” Jordon. Shut the **** up. Order the house red and shut up. Sneaky bougie. 

I go to dinner at a friend’s house. Somehow the conversation turns to the best Botox clinics in the city. You know, you HAVE to go to the botox clinic at this dermatologist. Botox is so much better for you if you get it done at a dermatology office. In August they’re having a special! I actually appreciated this information. I wrote down the number. I made an appointment. They really are running a special in August. But when did I become the botox type? Sneaky bougie. 

Aaron and I decide to take Young on a hike in the North Georgia mountains. That's super normal and granola right? Well, we are at the lake and I realize that I only had a cotton shirt. I can't go hiking in a cotton shirt. I NEED something breathable. I told Aaron, "honey, we have to stop somewhere. Anywhere. Target. Walmart. I need a tank top." Twenty minutes later we pull into the LuluLemon parking lot. Sneaky bougie.

I sent this text to my bestie for the restie this week.

Me: “You know what’s a thing in the A that will never be a thing in Greenville? Night nurses. All my friends having babies also have a night nurse. It’s not even weird. It’s just expected that you have a night nurse. It’s like having a cleaner.” 

Her: “Whoa. That’s real fancy.”

Me: “I can guarantee you, the Beasleys won’t ever have a night nurse.”

Also me: I wonder how much night nurses cost? Googling night nurses near me. What do night nurses do? Sneaky bougie. 

I like to think this is not permanent. Atlanta has always been a temporary stop on our journey through life. I have always self-identified as a chameleon. It’s not that “I’ve lost my identity” or “not being true to myself.” My outward appearance is just fluid. It has nothing to do with identity. Wherever I go, I just embrace being “that” person. When in Rome… When I lived in Charleston, I went through a full 2 years of only wearing hippy clothes that I bought in India. Shocking. I know. I just like to blend in with my surroundings. 

I know what you’re thinking. What does Aaron say about all of this? Does he know the crazy person that you’ve become? Well, let me say this friend. On Friday last week, Aaron says “I just wanted to give you a heads up I ordered a new golf sweater.” A freaking golf sweater? We live in Atlanta where its 98 degrees for 9 months out of the year. But, honey baby needed a golf sweater. Said golf sweater was $160. Sneaky bougie.