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Marriage & Other Boring Things

Reason #5 your 30s are actually awesome:

So much stability.

Marriage is hard sometimes. It has taught me about grace. About forgiveness. What it means to defer. How to pick your battles. How to love unconditionally. A lot of tough lessons in 5 short years. You know what’s harder? Dating. Gross. Get your Bumble app away from me. First of all, I don’t even speak chit chat and small talk anymore. I can't market myself. I was talking to friend in church on Sunday about what it would be to date these days. My Match.com site would say something like this "Look dude, I'm too old for you. I'm married. I have a lot of baggage. A baby and stuff. I'm too expensive. Sometimes high maintenance. And I'm 50 shades of crazy." Good thing I'm funny and pretty good cook.
In my last decade, I dated a lot. I also lost interest a lot. My twenties were marked by the nagging voice in my head asking “Is this the right guy for me?” “How do I know if he’s ‘the one’?” “Why didn’t he call me last night?” “Who is that girl in his profile picture from 2006?” For the love of all things. If I ever have to date again, I’ll die.
This is going to come as a shock to all the single ladies. Brace yourselves 20 year old friends. Routine is so great. So much stability and reassurance in the steady ebb and flow of your routine life. There are no surprises. I didn’t grow up with a lot of stability, so I appreciate it so much now. I love waking up to my same husband, with my same morning routine, off to my same job, coming home to workout and do all my routine afternoon things, before I make some routine dinner and prepare all the routine lunches for the next day. We watch our routine tv series, go to bed around the same time. I spend my weekends with my same friends. I go to my same church on Sunday. There is so much sameness in my life. It.Is.GLORIOUS.
In my 20s, that exact life terrified me. So boring. How awful. I craved novelty. Excitement. Adventure. Even now, there is a time and a place for all of those things. Novelty is great. Excitement and Adventure, fo sho. But, not on weekdays. Not after 8 pm. And definitely not if we haven’t talked about it and put on the calendar two months in advance.
There is so much comfort in marriage. So much work, but so worth the investment. You know what? He is The One because I married him. The grass is greener where you water it, so I just walk around with my little water can and sprinkle that shit everywhere. When we get into a fight, I’m not crying asking myself if this is the end? I’m not worried that he’s going to find someone else. He can’t afford a mistress. There is no drama in marriage. It’s the good. The bad. The ugly. It’s giving your husband a random kiss and him replying with “hold on, I gotta poop.”  It is a beautiful, beautiful mess that I wouldn’t trade for all the African Safaris in the world.

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