Lately, it's been hard for me to write. I enjoy writing when things are calm. I write best when I have time to be reflective. When I can just soak it up and enjoy all the crazy things about my life. I've been in a really good season for writing for quite a long time. Unfortunately, this new season is cluttering my brain. Instead of thinking about witty "30something jokes" and reading all the books I've purchased, I'm prioritizing housing projects, budgeting, and scouring the internet for design ideas. It's exhausting really. So, I'm going to take a break for a hot minute from witty 30somethings (although I do have one in the works) and I'm just going to talk about what I'm learning by living life boldly. This is a topic I honestly NEVER thought I would bring up on a blog. Who blogs about their marriage? Literally nothing good can come out of that, but here I am. Doing bold things. Living life on the wild side.
My marriage to Aaron Beasley has been relatively easy. We had a few spats at the beginning when we first started living together. Organic chicken was almost our demise. For the most part, we have just been lucky. We haven’t had any big life things occur that we really needed to work through. Aaron was 32 when we met. He already owned a house and had a good job. I was in graduate school and was pretty much guaranteed a job when I graduated. We just started off in a good place. Since then, we’ve been sailing on relatively smooth seas. I’m not sure why all of my Super Soul posts consist of water metaphors. Again, we’ve been blessed.
I would not consider our new stage a major hurdle. No one passed away or lost a job or is seriously ill. Moving is not catastrophic, so please do not think I am comparing our situation to your tragedy. This is not a tragedy, but it is a game changer. I think we can all respect a good old fashioned game-changer. We are making a BIG life decision together...because you know, deciding to have a child wasn’t really that big of a deal. We are completely starting over- new house, new job, back to school, new church, new friends, new neighborhood. I mean, I’m just glad everyone still speaks English in Atlanta because I can’t handle a new language at this time.
Of course, marriage is easy when things are easy. We live on a great street. In a great neighborhood. We have fantastic friends. My fantastic friends live ON MY STREET. Family is close by. We have steady jobs. We are all healthy. I live with my best friend. We’ve never really and truly had to be vulnerable and dependent. This is a new season though. The tide is turning (water metaphor).
We talk about how we are feeling. We have the opportunity to support each other in a way that we’ve never had to. There is something sweet about looking the other person in the eyes and saying “I’m really sad.” Instead of trying to cheer each other up, like usual, just replying with “I know. Me too. That’s ok.” There is something tender about hearing someone you love say “I’m really scared and kind of freaking out about this,” and being able to respond with “We will figure it out because that’s what we do.”
We are entering a season where we are each other’s person. When you take those vows, you say “from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part,” and you mean it. But when life throws you a curve ball, some of us are lucky enough to not only mean it but to know what it means. I think that’s a really beautiful part about marriage. We get to choose each other every single day, not because it’s easy, but because it’s what we want deep down. We get vulnerable. We get to take big risks. We to be scared. We get to be sad. We to be nervous and overwhelmed. And we get to do all of it together.
Here we are. All together. Ready to see what this new season brings!
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