So Happy I'm Thirty

We often think of our lives big events. I went to college. I graduated from college. I was engaged. I was married. I went to graduate school. I became a mother. The truth is life is what happens in between all of these big events. Life is your every day. Life is your routine. Life is waking up and doing your devotional. Going to work. Having breakfast. Your commute home. Cleaning the kitchen. These little mundane tasks that get us to the next “big thing” is where life truly takes place. My pastor once did a sermon on the 'Sacred in the Mundane' and it was such a mic-dropper. Hearing it once is never enough. I need reminders for things like this. In my new book, "The Best Yes", Lysa Terkeurst, she writes “Never despise the mundane. Embrace it. Unwrap it like a gift.” The mundane isn't always fun or exciting. In fact, the mundane is sometimes a nuisance. It is some event or obligation that has gotten in the way of our hustle, our ability to get things done. T...

One of my favorite school counseling lessons that I do every year is called “Making Friends Is An Art.” It’s about a crayon #schoolcounselorlife. The moral of the story is that in order to HAVE good friends, you have to BE a good friend. Kids grasp that very quickly. They can identify exactly what they need to do to be a good friend and put it into practice. I heart the transfer of knowledge for 6 year olds. Adults, however, seem to have a really tough time with this concept.  We often think “I’ll be a good friend when that person has earned it” or “If she’s a good friend, then I’ll be a good friend” even, “I’ll be a better friend once I get to know her.” I’m not like a friend guru or anything, but I can tell you that this is faulty thinking. It is easy for me to talk about friendship hardship because I haven’t always been good at friends. At various times in my life, I’ve struggled meeting people, getting past being acquaintances, friendship maintenance, and even friendship...

Ladies and Gentleman, Gather ‘round. I have a few very important announcements. No, we are not growing by two feet or 10 toes. No sonograms hatching from Easter Eggs or pregnant paperclips. Not “Red, White & Due.” No cute poems or dogs in sweaters or whatever cute trendy baby announcements say these days. For those of you who just clicked on this link to find out the big news, I’ll cut to the chase and give it to you in a short, quick, numerical format. 1.      Aaron Beasley landed his dream job with Aruba Networks HPE. 2.      The Beasley family will be relocating to the city of Brookhaven in Atlanta, GA. 3.      Jordon Beasley just received her acceptance letter to Mercer University to get her Ph.D. in Counselor Education & Supervision beginning in August. 4.      Young Beasley is getting tubes in his ears. This isn’t really crazy news, but I didn’t want him to be left out. H...

I’ve only been 30something for like a month, but I’m pretty sure I’m already nailing it. So much so that I created a list of pointers for 30something newbies who didn’t catch on as quickly as I did. I call these tidbits the 30somethings Keys to Success. 1. Tide Laundry Detergent This is #1 because Tide is life. I remember the first time I was able to afford Tide Laundry detergent as an adult. I was shopping with my not-yet-husband at Publix and I said “Is it ok if we get Tide?” He looked at me like I had 3 heads. It never occurred to him not to get Tide. I was only 24 and broke as a joke. He was 32 and living that P&G high life. As far as I was concerned, the Tide Brand was reserved only for the rich and famous. Gain runs about $8, but Tide is like $16. Who has that kind of spare change? I'll tell ya who, 30somethings. If you want to feel successful, go for broke and buy the Tide. The rich and famous use Tide, why shouldn’t you? 2. Gel Manicures This is a bit controversi...

Reason #6 your 30s are actually awesome: Sanity > Vanity I don’t know about you, but I spent most of my 20s feeling pretty much invincible. I ate a ton of fried foods and barely broke 120 lbs. My skin was so elastic. Bikinis were my friend. I lived at the beach and didn’t even own sunscreen. Ahh...the Optimism bias. Such a beautiful thing. Then, I started approaching 30. All of the sudden I began reading all of the ingredients before I purchasing any product to check for words like “parabens” and “talc.” I began to only buy organic foods.  I actually opened the emails with my lab results and paid attention to my blood count. I proactively went to the dermatologist to get a mole checked. I began to focus on having a balanced diet and not just the number on the scale. I mean, I even started watching documentaries. It’s basically like wikileaks but on television so I can limit onscreen reading. Gotta keep those eyes healthy. I started working out 6 days a week. Taking vi...

Turning 30 gave me a renewed zest for life. All of the sudden I began to take life more seriously. Not in the grown-up way, like “I need to start putting 10% in my 401k and figure out my 2018 IRA contributions.” I actually don’t even know what that means. I’m talking “fun” seriously- like, oh snap, I have a lot of big dreams and plans and aspirations. Time to start figuring out how make those things become a reality. Time is of the essence. That person that I want to be when I grow up, uh, I'm actually grown up now. Make it happen. Go after some goals. Figure out a plan. Start hustling- I’m 30 something now. As I approached 30, I started getting bold. A little sassy. Kinda spicy. Or as my nephew once said, “you’re a real firecracker, Aunt JJ.” Kid speaks truth. Really and truly, I just started to live a more genuine and authentic life regardless of how others might perceive me. Here’s a list of really bold things that happened as I approached 30. Presentations I love to give p...

Let’s talk for a minute about your dreams. Your plans. Your ambitions. When was the last time you wrote down a big dream? Not a goal. Not a plan. AN ASPIRATION. By the time you are 30, girl, you need to be writing down your goals. I hope that I am not the first person to tell you the power of writing down your goals. In fact, you are 42% MORE likely to do something if you write it down. If I am the first person to tell you this golden nugget of wisdom, please visit this article and learn more: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/marymorrissey/the-power-of-writing-down_b_12002348.html We aren’t talking about goals today. We are talking about our dreams. Our dreams are scary. They require us to get out of our comfort zone. They require us to show up. They require us to grow. We have to put ourselves out there. Y’all, life is hard. There are already 1,000 that are making me grow (i.e. #momlyfe). So intentionally doing one more thing for the sake of “growth” seems crazy. I mean, 90% of the...

Reason #5 your 30s are actually awesome: So much stability. Marriage is hard sometimes. It has taught me about grace. About forgiveness. What it means to defer. How to pick your battles. How to love unconditionally. A lot of tough lessons in 5 short years. You know what’s harder? Dating. Gross. Get your Bumble app away from me. First of all, I don’t even speak chit chat and small talk anymore. I can't market myself. I was talking to friend in church on Sunday about what it would be to date these days. My Match.com site would say something like this "Look dude, I'm too old for you. I'm married. I have a lot of baggage. A baby and stuff. I'm too expensive. Sometimes high maintenance. And I'm 50 shades of crazy." Good thing I'm funny and pretty good cook. In my last decade, I dated a lot. I also lost interest a lot. My twenties were marked by the nagging voice in my head asking “Is this the right guy for me?” “How do I know if he’s ‘the one’?” ...

This essay could very adequately be called “Trust in the Lord.” That is exactly what this boils down to, but no one would read it. At the end of the day when I’m lying in bed, in the dark, with no distraction, I feel my soul trusting in the Lord.  Hang with me. Everyone has heard of the old adage, “the calm before the storm.”  It is usually followed by “chaos in the storm” or “rough seas.” It reminds me of these paintings I saw in a shop in the El Born district of Barcelona.  I am on the brink of brand-new, uncharted territory. Seas that I have not yet explored. I typically set the expectations that I have for myself based on prior experiences. “When X happened, I had a major freak out. It turned out ok. So, when Y happens, I will have just a minor freak out this time because it will also be ok.”  These are real conversations that I have with myself. Sometimes out loud. We can chat about my sanity some other time. In past experiences, I have been unusually calm in...

I recently heard a podcast by Rachel Hollis about the “Five to Thrive.”  She talks about 5 habits that she practices every single day to live a better life. Quite honestly, I wouldn’t recommend it. It was kind of cliche. No original ideas. Drink more water. Really? You’re the first to tell me this groundbreaking information.  Seriously, I’m not being a hater. I like Rachel’s podcasts, but I came up with my own little 30 & Thriving Lists.  Don’t worry. This post is more serious but still funny. I thought seriously about my daily habits. What I do every single day that I truly believe makes a difference. Makes me feel confident. Makes me feel joy. Makes me feel happy. Makes a difference to other people. There are 13 of them. That is a theme for the 30somethings post in case you haven't picked up on it. This is what I came up with: 1. Smile at strangers. Let me tell you something. Come in close. JJBeas is about to give you a heart to heart. A few years ago, I wa...